she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
