i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
