I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
