i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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