grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I won the penis lottery.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
