I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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