we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
