You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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