At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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