My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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