btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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