Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
