dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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