You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
