5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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