Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
