It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
