You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
