As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
