hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
