my phone needs a breathalizer
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
