people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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