there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Can I color on your dick again?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
