thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize