You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
