i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
