he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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