Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize