my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
