problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
