real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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