Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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