she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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