Im at strip club and am horny
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
