just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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