you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
