He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
being pregnant is like rehab
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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