I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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