I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
