So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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