Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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