Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
