I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
