I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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