Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
