Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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