i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
