The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
