And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
