maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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