i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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