Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
