All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
tell me about the fingering
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