dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
