I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize