none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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