Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
