Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
