Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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