I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
