I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize